Alien Healthcare and How I Got a Unicorn

What shall we discuss today? Certainly not Disclosure. And I haven't had fries in a while (unless you count two nights ago in which I doused a small batch with salt and malt vinegar), so that's no good. Stan and Jeff haven't done anything particularly zany in the last couple of weeks, either, so this is one of those slow news periods.

Recently, I received a copy of Bill Konkolesky's book Experiencers which I am suppose to write a review for. One of the state directors of MUFON pointed me to JAR Mag's website (JAR is an acronym for Journal of Abduction-Encounter Research) because he noticed they were looking for someone to help them with a re-design, as well as maintain the page. This was a volunteer opportunity and since at the time I was looking for another addition to my portfolio, I shot them an email. This was 4 or 5 months ago now, and I have still not had the time to work on a re-design (so don't go thinking the current incarnation is my doing!), though recently I have had a chance to begin working on some mockups.


A few weeks ago, Elaine, one of the editors and now a good friend, had asked me if I'd be interested in writing a book review for the next issue. I thought that might be fun, so I told her I'd be up for it. At first I was a little hesitant because I believe my thoughts and perspective on the subject are very different from that of the other editors, as well as different from what is commonly written in the publication. I didn't want to be or feel censored. I spoke with Elaine at length about this concern and she assured me it wouldn't be a problem; that the magazine doesn't have an agenda as far as what 'side' they are on. It's open to any compelling argument or discussion about abduction and encounters -- pros, con, whatever. I am hoping the addition of me – in whatever capacity of writing I may end up in (if any), whether its another review or an actual article at some point – will give the readership something different to think about.

I've never written a book review before. I'm also not sure how to write without a healthy dose of colorful metaphors, as may be fairly apparent (I'm teasing! For instance, I don't think my résumé uses any expletives). Anyway, I'm about halfway through the book, so I'll be starting on the review soon.

And I suppose since we're already talking about it, I might as well discuss abduction. And Exopolitics. Both perhaps? I did say it was a slow news period, did I not?

So this Exopolitics bag has really picked up some speed in the last couple of years. With it's colorful personalities and grand theories, it's neck and neck with the Disclosure movement -- but personally, I think its all crap .

But Deirdre! How can you say such a thing!?

I dunno - because of the endless run-around and the inability to produce the credible sources their ideas and claims are based on? Something like that.

Many in Exopolitics would have you believe that extra-terrestrials are visiting Earth and are waiting for us to get our shit together so we can be inducted into the Magical Galactic Federation of Enlightened Beings, Rainbows and Unicorns. They assume (and pretend to know) that actual UFOs are “alien” in nature , and the occupants are totally friendly. Ignoring the fact we have no real proof of the former (and I don't count hush-hush insider info as 'proof'), I say poppycock! If these aliens are really that friendly and concerned about our well being, then what's with all the kidnapping?

I'm sure there are some in the Exopolictical movement that don't necessarily believe that only 'friendly' aliens are here and have nothing but our best interest at heart. Its just that the most vocal voices tend to hold public sway and this is the portrait they paint and is how people become excited about things like Greertonium and flying pie tins in Switzerland.

Don't misunderstand me – I don't think the ExoMovement is crap solely based on their opinions of the 'visitors', but mostly because a lot of what they spew forth looks and smells an awful lot like feces. Whether its predicting disclosure dates, tearing up in interviews for the camera, claiming they're the reincarnated spirit of Edgar Cayce, fighting over who started Exopolitics first, and mentioning reliable sources that can't be disclosed (oh, the irony!), it all seems best displayed in a porcelain bowl just before the big flush. But all of that is another few posts. You can't cover everything in one article (I guess I sort of just did in a single paragraph, but you know what I mean).

But where do abductions fit in the neat and tidy world of ExoMania? For the sake of discussion, I'm going with the theory that abductions are extra-terrestrial in nature, while firmly believing the possibility of them being something else, is a valid consideration.

Here are two of the most common reasons I've heard used to explain the abduction phenomenon by, um, Exopoliticians:

1. Abductions aren't real. They are nothing more than a product of sleep paralysis.


2. Abductions happen but the abductors are not 'bad'. We are simply too inferior to understand that the abductions are actually for our own benefit, so they appear to us as a negative act.

I don't want to get into sleep paralysis right now. I have mixed feelings about it – partially because I am trying to determine if I suffer from sleep paralysis or something more, and partially because its been mentioned by every UFO blog and podcast at least twice in the last 2 months.

I am, however, going to address number 2.

First off, putting any non-human life-form into little boxes labeled 'good' or 'bad' is something you really can't do. Our understanding of things like "right" and "wrong" are based on a human point of view (what other could we have?), but I do believe that the entities performing the abductions are aware that the experiences could have and often do have negative impacts on humans. To continue to do something you know may be considered horrifying to another being, crosses a line, I think. I suppose that is also a human opinion, and I can't expect some alien civilization to operate as I do if they have no concept of human emotions. Yet, in order to really argue this at all, I believe there has to be at least a few assumptions we make to provide some sort of base. And for this, I'm going with a (hopefully) universal understanding of 'No Means No'.

In a lot of abduction cases, there has been report of a telepathic-type of communication between the abductor and abductee. It's also been noted that the abductors have often instilled fear – purposely – in abductees, which would lead me to believe that they have some understanding of fear as it applies to humans, and have no moral issue about using it to keep the abductee submissive and compliant. Sure, maybe we are too dumb to get what their 'real purpose' is, but that doesn't really change our perception of what's happening to us, or the physical traumas often associated with it.

I know my dog doesn't understand that when I'm cutting his nails, its for his benefit, so I am extremely gentle and caring with how I handle it. I bring this up because there has been the debate that through abduction, aliens are doing something for our benefit. And yes, there are stories in which the person being taken is calmed, and I guess it could be argued that they are trying (in some situations) to ease our fear, much like my above analogy. That might appear nice and gentle and all, but unless they are abducting me to perform free dental care or check my breasts for lumps, I don't see how its really the same kind of thing. There is still the act of abduction and restraint. There's still trauma and blocked memory. So, number 2 doesn't seem like a sensible enough argument to me. We are, after all, human, and can only act like humans. Using that to their advantage is exploiting our vulnerability.

Isn't it?

More and more I am leaning towards abduction not being so simplified as 'aliens from outer space'. I'm not really talking about MILABS here (though I think that is definitely a consideration in some cases), but rather that these 'beings' may be something other – hyper-dimensional, perhaps. *shrugs* I kind of hate dragging dimensions into this since so few people understand what dimensions are, beyond something they name-drop after having listened to a whole bunch of George Noory. But there it is.

But Deirdre! Many abductees have been told by the aliens that they are from outer space!

Yeah? There have been reports of Experiencers being told lots of things that were not true in order to soothe or make the situation more 'comfortable'. There have been instances where a person has been told that one of the beings was their mother or some other relative, in hopes that this might pacify. And true to the field of UFOlogy, you can't trust anything anyone tells you. Apparently not even the aliens.

But Deirdre! Aliens wouldn't lie! They have evolved beyond that!

LOL, but they haven't evolved above kidnapping? FAIL.

Now, I am not an abductee – to my knowledge. I have had a number of situations which I find suspect, but until I can definitely differentiate those situations from hypnagogic hallucinations, I am not ready to step into that line. Because of this, I only have books and stories to base my opinions on. I know some of you have had encounters and have suffered abduction, and I would really like to hear your perspective on all of this, since you'd probably have a better understanding of whats going on during these experiences, than I.

Before I draw this post to a close, I wanted to show you a photo that has received a bit of buzz the last few weeks. I had hoped to bring it up sooner, but alas, I have been a busy girl. It was first posted by Michael Salla on his Examiner blog about 2 weeks ago. For those of you who have always wondered what an extra-terrestrial looks like, your wait is over!



Yes, you are looking at the correct image.*

Thankfully, this astonishing photo is up for analysis (after all, Salla is pretty careful about what info he imparts to the public.), which will undoubtedly result in its authentication: a real, in-the-flesh extra terrestrial on holiday in Italy!

I think the only analysis that needs to be made here is whether he's got a cucumber wrapped in foil in his shorts or he is packing a leg-of-lamb.

And by “leg-of-lamb” I mean “cock”.

Talk about having a moral obligation to seed the universe!

*Paratopia covered this photo rather well on Episode number 53. Give it a listen!